One on one

So yesterday I drove to Bracebridge to meet with Valerie (our lovely adoption practitioner) for a one-on-one meeting. To be honest I was a bit nervous, what was she going to ask? was it going to be awkward? Thankfully it went very well! A good reflection on how I was raised and how that will come into play when we become parents! 

During the meeting she was talking about how having biological children affect decisions on adopting and sometimes after people have a biological child that their perspective changes on adoption. This kinda freaked me out, I had never thought or considered that something like giving birth to a child would ever change my feelings about adoption. And you have to understand that sometimes a thought pops into my head and I just run with it, drives me and others crazy (sorry Matt). Then I scared myself into thinking, what if, what if we have a child, then life becomes too crazy and we don't adopt, or that we feel the pressure to have kids because the clock is ticking and then end up not adopting?! I would hate that!  Mentally torturing myself! Why can't we know and control everything!?

However upon calming my thoughts. shedding some tears, and discussing this with Matt I felt a lot better. Sometimes with life events that are big decisions I have these moments of "oh no maybe we are doing this at the wrong time, what happens next, when will it happen?" Thank the Lord that He has told us He has a plan for us, and that we need to trust in Him. I have always been raised to believe this, but it has really become a true feeling and reassurance during this adoption process. That even though we don't know the timelines, there is great peace in knowing that He has a plan and all we can do is trust. 

I will drive myself crazy trying to plan and control all aspects of a process that is soo complex! We know that it has always been a dream of ours to adopt and God has kept a constant reminder in our lives, through work, family and travel that there are so many kids out there who need a stable loving home that we want to provide for them. So that we will do, no matter how long it takes or what changes or challenges we come across. 

Well, that was my first blog post! I could keep going and going but I will not! :) I think I will like the whole blogging bit...

Have a good night!! 

P.S. Having these meetings in Bracebridge is bad for the wallet...can't. resist. sushi...so good!